What to Do With the Girl Who Knows She is Attractive

Let’s start with a story.

Girl walks into party. She smiles and walks toward you. She is confident and secure. You compliment her and she responds, “Thank you. I like my eyes, too.” Perhaps, you further compliment her and mention how pretty her face is. Again, she says, “Thank you. I like my face, too.” Her responses throw you off guard. You think about how she responded with “odd” responses. You are immediately unattracted to the girl that is attracted to herself. After all, you expected one of the more likely answers:

  • “Aw, I don’t think so, but that is so sweet of you!”
  • “Thanks” (with an awkward smile).
  • “I really don’t like it.”

I have heard a huge amount of guys and girls talk about how unattractive it is to meet an individual that knows that he or she is attractive. However, I pose the argument that it IS attractive to meet someone who knows that he or she is attractive. There is nothing wrong with loving yourself. I believe that our society has yet another double standard, and this one really upsets me. Individuals want to date individuals that are confident, but not so confident to be willing to acknowledge his or her attractiveness. This issue is found in men, women, straight, gay, etc. Everyone faces this and feels this.

While I’ll admit that acknowledging what that you are complimented for can be a bit socially awkward, I don’t think there is anything wrong with saying you mutually like something about yourself. After all, I used to be one of those girls that had a hard time with compliments. Even learning to say “Thanks,” instead of immediately refuting the compliment was difficult for me. Within the last year of my life, I’ve developed a new kind of confidence. I’ve taught myself to notice what I like about myself. I’ve allowed myself to be open about what I like about myself. Also, my husband encouraged me to always compliment my own self whenever I say something bad about myself.

ALL of this was hard for me. I found that the longer I let myself hate something about me, the worse it became. For instance, I used to really hate my hips. I told myself that there were large and ugly. I covered my disdain for my hips by saying that I just have Latina hips and there was nothing that I could do about it, but secretly would stare in the mirror every night and wonder why they were so large (note: my hips weren’t beautiful Christina Hendricks, Kimmy K, Beyonce kind of hips–they were “Hi! my name is Evi, and I love copious amounts of fast food”-kind of hips). My sadness, frustration, and negativity drove me to further to think negatively and mistreat my body. I ate more and more junk food, thus perpetuating the issue.

Now that being said, I don’t think that there is anything wrong with having curvy hips. In fact, I’ve come to love mine. After all, Beyonce didn’t build her empire on a flat butt. That girl used every bit of female strength, including those rocking and strong glutes. Nevertheless, I started to learn to love me when I began to take care of me. I started eating better and exploring healthy food that I had never tried before. I started going on walks with my husband to exercise. I began to write in my journal about what I loved about that day. I forced myself to do an exercise that my modern dance teacher made me do in high school: look in the mirror for a minute and not judge myself.

Sure, I’m not perfect. Still, I noticed that felt happier and like I was in control. Today, I have control of my emotions and my body. Best of all, I know that I am beautiful. I still have curvier hips than most of the girls around me. However, I love them. Why? Because loving yourself shouldn’t be viewed as a problem.

So here is what to do when you meet someone who knows that her or himself is attractive: tell them that you love his or her confidence. Don’t speak negatively of that person. Don’t say that you think it is unattractive. Even if it is fake confidence, fake confidence is better than NO confidence. Also, if you don’t think that it is attractive to know you’re attractive, likelihood is that you have issues of your own.

Dating hint: Relationships that involve two confident people are fore more likely to last and be happier. Plus, then you won’t have to worry about your woman asking you if she looks fat in that dress.

Shout out to all of the people who know they are beautiful.

Send this to every person you believe needs to be reminded that it is ok to recognize you are beautiful!

Evi Doing the Miley Cyrus Tongue Face

To prove my confidence here a picture of me doing my best Miley Cyrus-tongue face. Sure, it is Snapchat worthy, but haters gonna hate!

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Do you love your breasts? The BCRF does, too.

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As women, we have lots of concerns. Do my shoes match my outfit? Does this outfit REALLY make me look fat? Will I be a good mother? Does he actually like me? What most of us do not constantly ask ourselves is, could I have breast cancer? Breast cancer is the 2nd most likely cancer to kill a woman other than lung cancer. Hundreds of foundations have come about in an effort to find a cure for and prevent breast cancer. The Breast Cancer Research Fund (BCRF) is seeking answers in this regard.

Evelyn H. Lauder began the foundation in 1992 after her own experience with early-stage breast cancer in 1987. Lauder acted as the Senior Corporate Vice President and Head of Fragrance Development Worldwide for the well-known beauty company, Estée Lauder Companies Inc. She applied her talents to the BCRF and created one of the most prominent non-profit organizations of our time. She passed away in 2011 and left behind a truly beautiful legacy. BCRF has raised over $440 million since its beginnings 21 years ago.

To raise $440 million is an astonishing amount and with 2.9 million breast cancer survivors in the world, we know that the field of breast cancer research is only expanding. We are indeed drawing closer to prevention and a cure. Ninety-one percent donated to the BCRF goes directly to cancer research and awareness programs.

This year breast cancer statistics are better than ever, but still high. It is predicted:

–       232,240 new cases of breast cancer will be diagnosed in our country this year

–       1/8 women will develop breast cancer in her lifetime

–       1.3 million cases of breast cancer will be detected each year

–       410 men will die of breast cancer this year

–       Most cases are developed at a median age of 61 years old

–       1/210 breast cancer cases will occur in women under the age of 40

–       1/36 female deaths will occur due to breast cancer

–       Women in their 20s should begin self-examination every three months

–       Annual mammograms should begin at the age of 40

–       Women are at a higher risk for breast cancer if they consume one or more alcoholic drinks a day.

–       75% of diagnosed breast cancer patients are 50 or older

The statistics, though significantly improved, are still frightening. The BCRF has a vast variety of ways to get involved. They work to involve every demographic. For women around my age, BCRF has a Junior Board that participates in The Pink Agenda. BCRF supports many events. Take a look here to see if there is an event in your area that you can support! There are several events a month all over the United States.

Interested in helping out? Click here.

Want to learn more about their research? Click here.

Want to learn more in general? Click here.

*All information found on the BCRF website

V-Day: “Until the Violence Stops”

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The Three Hayhurst Sisters–I love my littles more than the world will ever know. I would do anything to keep them safe. This is a really old picture, but I still love it.

Think of all of the girl friends that you have. I can honestly say that I have twelve that are close to me, including my sisters (because let’s be real…my family makes up some of my best friends). What if I told you that out of those twelve women, statistics indicate that four of them should experience violent acts against them in the duration of their lives.

1 of 3 women will experience violence in her lifetime according to the United Nations. Do the math, because V-Day did. In our world one billion women have or will experience violence. The numbers add up. Sometimes violence occurs against women and that individual struggles and may not be able to stop it; however, the voices of women united around the world CAN.

V-Day, an international charity, focuses on liberating women from violent acts all around the world. This past Valentine’s Day, V-Day celebrated its 15th anniversary. Over the last fifteen years V-Day has reached 167 different countries and raised more than $90 million. Eve Ensler began the organization after writing The Vagina Monologues, which was written to celebrate women and their bodies.

According to V-Day’s official website, V-Day works to bring greater amounts of attention to the “fight to stop violence against women and girls, including rape, batter, incest, female genital mutilation (FGM), and sex slavery.” This “fight” is ongoing. Until complete awareness is raised, violence will continue.

I love what V-Day posted as their mission. It seems poetic:

V-Day is an organized response against violence toward women.

V-Day is a vision: We see a world where women live safely and freely.

V-Day is a demand: Rape, incest, battery, genital mutilation and sexual slavery must end now.

V-Day is a spirit: We believe women should spend their lives creating and thriving rather than surviving or recovering from terrible atrocities.

V-Day is a catalyst: By raising money and consciousness, it will unify and strengthen existing anti-violence efforts. Triggering far-reaching awareness, it will lay the groundwork for new educational, protective, and legislative endeavors throughout the world.

V-Day is a process: We will work as long as it takes. We will not stop until the violence stops.

V-Day is a day. We proclaim Valentine’s Day as V-Day, to celebrate women and end the violence.

V-Day is a fierce, wild, unstoppable movement and community. Join us!

Who would not want to join? Just by going through their website, I feel empowered. I feel empowered to help my gender and my world. Plus, it helps that they have made Valentine’s Day a day to celebrate women and an end to violence. So for all of those Valentine’s Day haters…you have a new reason to celebrate! Forget the candy and flowers. Let’s celebrate women!

Join the fight here. Learn more here.

*All information found on the V-Day website.

8 Ways That I Help Myself Feel Beautiful

We all have our ups and downs. Some days we feel on top of the world and others like there is no escaping the nastiness that has decided to descend upon us. However, there is hope! I think that this list will be different for everyone; nevertheless, below is a list of the things that help me feel beautiful even when I feel…well, not the most beautiful. I feel beautiful when…

1. I put on my favorite outfit or color. There is something about loving what is on your body. If it is your favorite, then you’ll only feel better about how you present yourself to the world on that particular day.

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Myself in one of my favorite outfits

2. Spending time with someone that lets you be YOU without any judgment can make anyone feel great and even beautiful. Confidence is beautiful, and often confidence emerges when you feel comfortable. For me, my husband helps me feel beautiful. No matter what I’m wearing (even if it is tennis shoes, a hat, and a baggy long-sleeved shirt), my husband makes me feel beautiful, and you should have friends and family that do the same for you!

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3. I remember the positive habits that I have formed in my life. A lot of feeling beautiful is about positive self-thinking.

4. I think about what my body does for me and what I am capable of doing. For instance, I feel beautiful when I consciously think about how my body works so hard to take care of me. I feel beautiful when I think of my potential to create life and raise a family. I feel beautiful when I think of the good service that my hands have performed for others. It doesn’t have to be large service, but even opening doors for those who stand behind me or the time spent cleaning up others’ messes without complaint. Our bodies are capable of doing beautiful things even when we don’t feel outwardly beautiful.

5. I take care of my body. I love healthy food, and I thrive when I exercise. There is nothing like looking back on the day and realizing that I didn’t abuse my body by eating junk for every meal. I also feel beautiful when I know that I “moved” at some point in the day, such as walking, biking, or swimming.

6. I pamper myself. I LOVE manicures and pedicures. There is something magical about them, whether a cosmetologist paints my nails or if I paint them myself. A little extra personal TLC never hurt anyone.

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I love shellac/gel nails! Remember Amanda (my friend that I mentioned in the last post)? She did these for me.

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Please excuse my toes. I know that some people think that feet are gross, but I’m not really embarrassed of my feet! Sorry I’m not sorry. 😉

7. I hit the town. I love going out. I love having a reason to get out, put on red lipstick, and wear something other than my leggings.

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Yes, eating food is a reason to hit the town.

8. Take a compliment without trying to justify it. Sometimes it is difficult to simply say, “Thank you.” Remember, the majority of compliments are genuine. So, remember a compliment and don’t be so hard on yourself. No matter who you are, there is something beautiful about you. If you feel like you don’t get enough compliments, feel free to email me (my email is in my profile). We can become friends, and I’d love to give you compliments. 😉

As women we can help ourselves be beautiful. I truly do believe every woman is beautiful. Maybe when you’re feeling beautiful, take note of why you feel beautiful and try to duplicate on a less “beautiful” day. I hope you have a happy day!

I would love to know what makes you feel beautiful! Comment below or email me.

Beauty from the Eyes of an Accomplished Cosmetologist

Amanda Hofmeister is a successful woman. She has earned both a bachelor’s degree in business management and a cosmetology license. She aspires to one day own and operate her own salon. To be honest, Amanda is a good friend of mine. Personally, I feel that she is a very beautiful person. Additionally, I feel like Amanda has an interesting take on what is “true beauty,” considering the fact that she went to what many refer to as “beauty school.” She specializes in the business of making men and women “beautiful.” I interviewed Amanda this past weekend to better understand her take on true beauty.

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Amanda defines female beauty as confidence and personality. Furthermore, she said, “I think a woman who is confident in herself and what she looks like is beautiful.” Amanda has worked with many models and attractive individuals. She says that outer beauty really does not define what they are truly like. Of this she said, “I’ve met people that are really pretty, but not genuine.”

She continued to explain that life experiences such as doing hair and going to hair school have shaped her understanding of beauty. Amanda explained, “Doing hair, I met a lot of women. Those women…some people are nice, but others really are not at all.”

Both Amanda and I agreed on the conclusion that our perspectives of true beauty in women have evolved and changed over time. Amanda expanded on this point, “When you’re a teen or younger you think only outside appearance matters, but then you get to know people and go to college. You meet more people, and you eventually realize there is more to someone than just outside beauty. Character and personality says a lot. Living life and continually having experiences makes you learn more about what people are really like.”

Amanda and I spoke about the role of physical beauty in the overall definition of “beauty.” As a cosmetologist, obviously she cares about looking and feeling good. She said on the topic, “As much as I think it is to be all-natural, I don’t think getting all dolled up once in a while is a bad thing. It can really boost your confidence and help you feel pretty. Some use too much make up or too big of hair to hide insecurities. But I love giving makeovers and giving clients changes that they needed. A little bit is always good.”

Honestly, I have to say I agree. I feel most beautiful inside and out when I at least have mascara on. We all have our little things that we turn to that boost our confidence, and I don’t think that it necessarily needs to be make-up. Perhaps, it is a favorite dress. I know that I’d feel beautiful in any of Shabby Apple’s clothing.

Amanda made sure that I understood that physical beauty is not the only thing that makes a woman beautiful or even sexy. She said, “My B.A. helped me realize that being smart, educated, and having the desire to be educated and accomplished is beautiful thing. It is sexy. Hair school…it is more of a superficial beauty. You can make anybody feel beautiful by doing their hair. Education stays.” Long story short, no matter what anyone tells you, being smart is beautiful.

When asked who were some of the beautiful women in her life, she replied that her mother and sister-in-laws. Her reasoning? She explained, “They are all so accomplished. They are moms, and they’re selfless. They do so much.” She felt that the most beautiful thing about herself is the fact that she is willing to “bend over backwards to help people,” something that I can testify of about Amanda. Physically, Amanda told me that she loves her olive skin and blue eyes, which only proves that there is nothing wrong with loving what you physically look like.

Want to know a little bit more about Amanda? Amanda currently works at Klim, a sports performance company located in Rigby, Idaho and at Form, one of the best salons in Southeastern Idaho (in my humble opinion). She has been married for a couple years to her husband, Stefan. She grew up in the great state of Texas (Go Cowboys!) and is in her mid-twenties.

Leading People to Freedom: Polaris Project

There are billions of people on the planet. It is impossible to notice every individual. It is impossible to track every individual. It would be very difficult to stare at a school of fish and watch the movement of a single fish. However, some are attempting to do this with people.

Could you notice the motions of all of the fish in the sea?

Could you notice the motions of all of the fish in the sea?

How much do you know about human trafficking? You probably know what you learned in the movie Taken or even Taken 2. Have you ever looked into it? It’s incredible how many people are unaware of the various types of human trafficking that occur within our country’s borders. To be honest, it can be slightly sickening when reviewing the statistics.

This prominent problem came to my attention when I was nineteen. I was in a freshman-level English course. We were told to write an informative research paper. I’ve always been interested in helping women live in a better place and feel better about themselves. I began with a basic Google search—what problems did women face? First result on the list on that day in February 2010 was human trafficking. I dug deeper. What I found made me feel greatly disturbed.

Men and women are forced into human trafficking, which is essentially slavery. Human trafficking occurs in every state within the United States, but also in many countries all around the world. This is defined as “the recruitment, harboring, transportation, provision, or obtaining a person for labor or services, through the use of force, fraud or coercion for the purpose of subjection to involuntary servitude, peonage, debt bondage, or slavery” (Trafficking Victims Protection Act of 2000).

Included in human trafficking is the category of sex trafficking. There are three main sex trafficking networks in the United States. First, the Asian network, which aims for victims ages 18 through 55, who were originally promised (usually) fake legitimate employment or were recruited in internet chat rooms or saunas/baths. Second, the Latino network aims for (in general) Mexican, central American, and south American women and some minors. Finally, the third network is called “Domestic Networks.” These networks include residential brothels, strip clubs, internet, truck stops, public parties, hotels, and even the streets. Those that are recruited are generally a saddening 12-14 years old. All networks include acts such as physical abuse or isolation, debt bondage, and threats.

Thankfully, there are charities such as Polaris Project that works to fight human trafficking all around the world. They offer a staggering 90% of their proceeds toward their cause. Polaris Project offers a toll-free hotline 24/7 to report tips, connect with those who are also interested in anti-trafficking within your area, or to request information and resources. Polaris also fights to promote anti-human trafficking legislation and policy (you can even look up how your state is doing in regards to fighting human trafficking here). They even offer services to victims or clients, such as shelter, training, and responding to emergencies all around the world.

Eighty percent of the roughly 27 million people involved in human trafficking are women according to the most recent Trafficking In Persons Report. Thus, it is a problem that truly affects the female population. Polaris Project is an incredible organization that truly focuses on helping those who are suffering from all aspects of human trafficking. After all, their organization is named after the North Star, which guided slaves to freedom during the slavery era in the United States. They truly do lead people to freedom.

Help by clicking here. Learn more here. Donate here.

All information was found on the Polaris Project website, unless otherwise noted.

Beautiful (adj.)

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Myself and the man who makes me feel most beautiful.

Women are incredible beings. It is amazing that we are only one chromosome different than males; nevertheless, women are inherently are beautiful. In my personal opinion, I don’t think that being “beautiful” is about what appears only on the outside. I believe that is what the media would like us to think, but I am wondering is that what the rest of society thinks? The word “beauty” is defined in a myriad of ways. For instance, according to the New Oxford American Dictionary is defined as the following:

  1. A combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, esp. the sight
  2. Pleasing thing or person… an excellent specimen or example of something [my personal favorite]

Therefore, if this is what the true meaning of the word “beauty” is. When did beauty become all about aesthetics? Also, is there really one definition of beauty? Personally, I don’t think so.

We, as individuals, come from a variety of backgrounds and cultures. An individual may self-associate with as many backgrounds or cultures as he or she may feel appropriate. Within those different backgrounds and cultures, the connotations of the word “beauty” shifts; however, the denotation does not.

I am honestly incredibly impressed by the vast majority of the women that I have met and associated with throughout my life. Each woman is an individual who possesses different combinations of attributes—both physical and mental. Who is to say that having Kardashian hair, Jessica Alba complexion, Olivia Wilde eyes, Carrie Underwood legs, Miranda Kerr face, Beyoncé booty, and Alessandra Ambrossio abs is what “beautiful” should be? While I do not doubt that each of those aforementioned women is uniquely beautiful, I do not think that we a females within this society should be envisioning models and celebrities each time we are fighting for our cardio workout.

I know that at various points in our lives everyone goes through that uncomfortable stage in which he or she feels ugly in some way or another. I know that I have. I know that my sisters have, and I most definitely know that all of my roommates and girl friends have. However, who is to ever say that we weren’t beautiful in those moments of doubt?

Women are beautiful—plain and simple with no doubt about it. I do not care if you feel you have an “overly proud nose,” your thighs touch, or your hair is a big curly “mess.” There is no shame in being who you are, and I don’t think that there is shame in feeling beautiful when you pamper or simply be yourself. Beauty is balance, confidence, strength, and grace. No one expects you to be a sexy beast every moment of every day. No one expects you to be perfect, and if they do –newsflash they may not be the best influence. Be you. Be proud. Be beautiful.

If you know of someone who has an opinion on what makes women beautiful, I would love to interview them and feature them on my blog. Please contact me  whenever you please. Additionally, if there is a beautiful woman you’d like to honor feel free to send me a picture and short snippet on why that woman is beautiful. Have a beautiful day!